Aug 30, 2011

Dr. Strange-Rob Or: How I Learned to Start Worrying and Hate the Car Bomb


GAS


I've come to find, in the past year, that most of the things that I used to brag about as a kid have come back to bite me in the butt.

"I've never been stung by a bee, I've never had a cavity, and I've never gone into anaphylaxis."

BUT, as of this year, thanks to Albus, the bee that gimped across the grass to fly up my pant leg, the abundant gummy worms that I can't turn down at work, and my lack of ability to familiarize myself with the nutrition facts of some of the tenants of the ETOH community I can no longer brag about my feats of avoidance.

This story in particular is about the latter of the aforementioned feats.

monster feet

As partially evidenced by the picture above some individuals would appear to have impeccable taste in shoes, and a desire to get away with wearing ridiculous things in public. This is true.
I would also like to thank Goodwill Santa Monica for providing excellent garb that can be returned no questions asked within 30 days of initial purchase.

I did keep the shoes, however.

swank

If you could measure the maximum allowable human dosage of fun it would be directly proportional to the number of hours spent (consecutively) with the shoed individual pictured above, divided by the number of activities involved, and then multiplied by the number of water bottles consumed that morning prior to the commencing of the hangout.

guns

Although the blue tank top pictured above was part of the day's "ridiculous apparel" and acknowledged as such... one cannot help but be reminded of Jim Gaffigan's ever insightful tweets, por ejemplo:

"I need a shirt, but I also want to showcase how long my armpit hair is." -Every guy who has bought a tank top.

And as much as I would like to say that our adventure began with plastic guns and cathode ray tubes, alas and alack, it did not.

By this time of day we had already visited 2 yard sales, 1 unpaid parking meter, 1 goodwill store, 1 mexican restaurant, and 5 different public restrooms, thanks to my ingenious consumption of innumerable water bottles between the hours of 3am and 11am that very morning.
We also consumed 2 margaritas,2 baby tacos, 2 toiny steins of Nautical juice and went halvesies on a piece of white chocolate (eww). Of course, all of these events were integral parts to the days entirety.

And yet, somehow the results of this ridiculously fun day were unprecedented.

DDR

I think 8th grade was when DDR really consumed my life. Anywhere I could play I would play and while I don't believe that I ever reached my full potential, my attempt to rekindle this old flame really turned into a sad display of flailing arms and crippled feet. I'm sure my accidental selection of "expert level" had something to do with that.

feet

The leather lace-ups scored at goodwill were quite the spectacle and I was quite jealous that my fuzzy pink boots weren't nearly as versatile.
Oh, and those shorts, those plaid shorts... gah.

water

If you look closely you can see a shark fin next to the dark figure in the center of the image.

Look really hard.

Ok, I lied. As if this day need an extra dose of shock and horror.

way too much fun

Speaking of shock and horror.

ideasman

After a couple quick turns on the West Coaster we dashed to the car for a costume change and proceeded to scurry under the dock to snap a 15 minute photo shoot.

Interesting things live under the pier and they do interesting things, people mostly. (The grammatical structure of this sentence, or lack thereof was written to:

a.) confuse you
b.) make you wince
c.) remind you to order your ninja throwing stars
d.) all of the above

I'll expect a five page essay backing up your answer in my inbox first thing tomorrow morning.)

kick

Oh dear.

umm

This picture was taken and displayed to:

a.) confuse you
b.) make you wince
c.) remind you to order your ninja throwing stars
d.) all of the above

hot

Although, I'm sure the photo shoot was a "feast for hobo eyes"... our stomach growls were louder than the drunken bellows resonating from the deep dark recesses under the dock... obviously a sign that we should head to dinner.
Top Chef Finalist.

The service at Stefan's L.A. Farm was quite "propa" and our waiter was sure to ask if we had any allergies and my reply "Just coffee." was answered with a "Seriously?" followed with a "That shouldn't be a problem." (If only he had said, "Yet.") The food was delightful, and the wine pairings, exquisite. Here is a brief overview of our meal.

bread

Crispity buttery bread.

tartar

Tuna tartar with microgreens.

ravioli

Black truffle ravioli.

scallop

Seared scallop with a corn puree.

lamb

Lamb.

dessert

Blackberry and chocolate mousse for dessert with a leaf of gold to aid the digestion.

Of course the night came to a smashing end when I insisted that we have an Irish car bomb.

How would I know that some brands of Irish Cream have coffee in them? How would I know that should I go into an anaphylactic state I would become disoriented and lock myself in a bathroom and tango with the toilet or drive the porcelain bus? How would I know that I would lose all of that delicious food I had consumed minutes before? How would I know that I had brilliant resources that knew not to call the ambulance because those EMTs would have more than broke the bank? How would I know that I have amazing friends that are willing to carry my lifeless body around and a bro willing to hose it off?

I didn't. But, now I do.

Cheers.

Aug 27, 2011

They said they needed a keyboardist, and I said, "I'm your man-tis."

zorak on luke

Before I dive into the insane food adventures of the day I'd like to give a shout out to my buddy, Zorak. He made a guest appearance at breakfast.

zorak on leaf

He returned to his blackberry bush.

crepe

Holly and her Pops made some excellent crepes. We filled them with fresh blackberries and whipped cream.
I took a picture of Holly's because it looked cooler then my sans-chocolate crepe.

wood

After a morning of laughing at nothing and frantically cleaning I drove to this restaurant to meet my friend Erika for lunch. I thought the hanging pieces of wood in the entryway were pretty fun, until one of the them fell on a girl walking in.

I kid, I kid.

edamame

As a starter, Erika and I ordered the seasoned edamame and we were MORE than pleasantly surprised.
I would go as far as to say that I enjoyed this more than anything else we ordered.

erika

Erika thought the edamame was scary good too! Unfortunately, the only pic I got of her was when we were both geeking out about it.

fries

We also helped ourselves to a couple cajun fries. Laissez les bon temps rouler!
(Sadly, that is the extent of my french comprehension.)

the lazy dog

I enjoyed the Asian Chicken Noodles, although, the noodles themselves were a little thick and American for my Asian palette.

sammich

Erika went for the sandwich. I couldn't really tell you what was in it but she said it was good and I trust her judgement.

anthro

After lunch we had a stroll through the mall and ended up at this store (a.k.a. Erika's jorb)

chicken sausage

After an extensive dose of the mall and cruisin' on the 23 N, I hit up Trader Joe's to buy some affordably delectable groceries. I planned to prepare a nice dinny din for the Schultz familia before they left for CO dark and early the next morning.
Dinner started with a toasted walnut and cilantro pesto ravioli with pink lady apples and spinach & feta chicken sausage. Initially you heat some olive oil over medium and throw in some diced walnuts, once the walnuts become aromatic toss in your matchstick apple slices. Just as the apple begins to soften throw in your sliced sausage and cilantro pesto. (For the pesto just blend a fistful of cilantro leaves and 2 tablespoons of pine nuts with a little olive oil and feta cheese)
You should boil the ravioli simultaneously and add them to the pan of toasted goodness and mix just before serving.

ravioli

Total time including prep: 20 minutes. That's the beauty of it.

scallions

To accompany the main dish I made a pesto, butternut squash soup topped with scallions.

To prepare, just throw some diced onion into some canola oil (I choose canola for soups because it has a higher heating point than olive oil and is less likely to burn). I also throw in a few mustard seeds and paprika before adding my oil and onion just to let the heat release more of those rich flavors. Probably about 2 teaspoons of each spice. Once your onions are soft add some of your cilantro pesto (to taste) and stir for about 20 seconds. I tend to add some sort of bean to this soup to give it a little more substance, garbanzo are always a nice choice. After stirring the pesto into the onion add some puree butternut squash and stock and let it come to a simmer and you're ready to serve.

nectarines

Let's not forget the fiber, placed conveniently at the end of the meal to "aid the digestion".

This was a light salad of spinach and wasabi arugula tossed with ripe nectarines, tomato and basil feta (also used in the cilantro pesto), white onion, walnuts, and toasted sesame dressing, surprisingly brought to you by this good lookin' actor.

we

We ended the night with some ginger thins in french vanilla ice cream, some polaroid pictures and this movie.

Oh, how I love this movie and Peter Sellers' brilliance.

Life would only get more exciting and adventurous the next day. Anaphylaxis included. No purchase necessary. See label for details. Or just read my next post.

Aug 18, 2011

A Badger, Badger, Badger...

rooms

My Uncle Greg has been a fantastic and innovative chef as long I can remember. He married my Mom's youngest sister 15 years ago this month and it has been quite literally a tasty treat to have him in the family.

He prepared a fine meal for us starting with the above sautéed mushrooms.

mush

He let me get my hands into the meal as Sous Chef. (a.k.a. "watch and learn and mix these together")

I loved it.

marlowe

Marlowe was hoping for a few more crumbs.

mix

The red onion would add the perfect zip to the mushrooms before we threw them in the pan.

parsnips roasted

This dining experience was monumental due to the fact that I enjoyed my first parsnip, initially roasted and finally pureed.

shrooms

The sauce for the mushrooms is a secret but I do know that it involved some of this goodness.

onion

As Sous Chef I got to mince the onions for the main course: meat-loaf.

loaf

This turkey meat-loaf was packed with goodies.

kimchi

I got a little hungry during prep and snuck some kimchi out of the fridge.

glazed

After a pre-bake we brushed the meat-loaf with a rich tomato glaze.

uncooked

Unfortunately this recipe is undisclosed as well.

dogs

We were careful not drop any water on these gremlins. We did however give them a snack or two.

cooked

Yum. I never knew turkey could taste so good.

pellegrino

Dinner was delish and washed down with a fresh glass of Pellegrino Lemonata.

After dinner I returned to the Schultz home to prep for the next night in which I would prepare a send off dinner for them.

I then proceeded to catch some Z's

Aug 16, 2011

Home Again Home Again Jiggity Jig

with parm.

The best part of my summer was going home to California for a couple weeks to visit long time amigos and familia.

After an enjoyable burger, a car ride with a little Journey sing along and a good night sleep I hit the road for Simi Valley to enjoy the company of the Schultz family. I would house sit for them for a week and a half while they frolicked in the fields of Colorado.

I had a couple of nights to spend with them before they left. The first night we went to this awesome restaurant. The above pictured truffle fries were to die for!

Truffles kind of have that effect.

BASIL

The tomato bisque was also exquisite. A creamy balance of sweet and savory.

with parsley

I got the vodka shrimp, which actually turned out to be the least tasty of the dishes ordered. It looked good at least.

fried chicken

Holly's fried chicken was very good!
The chicken was nice and succulent but the exterior was a perfect crisp battered lightly enough to keep from weighing you down. The bed of mashed potatoes and gravy had a brilliant balance of garlic, butter and cream.

with veggies

Mamma Schultzy had teriyaki. The chicken was moist, tender and coated with a rich sauce.

mouth watering


Papa Schultzy had the pepper crusted gorgonzola burger. I didn't try this guy either but, oh man, it looked scrumptious.

birthday Luke

Papa Schultz had a June birthday so we coaxed the server to bring out a dessert for us to split 4 ways. Apple, peach cobbler (a first for me) accompanied with vanilla ice cream.

kegs

The Yardhouse's claim to fame is its large selection of draft beers. Here is a peak into the keg fridge.

patootie

Oh Holly, you're so cute. (Inasmuch as I use that word sarcastically, I am quite serious in this scenario.)

cutie

Am I right or am I right?

oh yeah

The next day Holly and I cruised down to Burbank to visit her favorite coffee shop.

chai

I, of course, got iced tea due to my unfortunate allergy.

muffin

My apple bran muffin was huge and tasty.

priscillas

A-OK.

scone

Holly's scone looked quite good as well.

palms

After breakfast we went for a little stroll past the WB back lot...

udderly awesome

Holly's keychain.

hot holly

It was nice to have such a good looking chauffeur for a day.

to Simi Valley

We headed back to Simi Valley.